


Alternate Lives Must Go On by Vulcan Lover

by KSForever



Category: Star Trek TOS AU, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alone in Grief, Chasms, Grief, M/M, Major Character Deaths In Alternate Universes, Shared Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 09:50:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10274147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSForever/pseuds/KSForever
Summary: They miss each other; universes apart, and yet more, Jim and Spock miss, and love each other, deeply...





	

**Author's Note:**

> They miss each other; universes apart, and yet more, Jim and Spock miss, and love each other, deeply...

Alternate Lives Must Go On

After Jim died, Spock stayed in their home on Earth; alone, trying to make sense of it all – Though he knew he never would. He knew that he should, perhaps, go to Vulcan, or somewhere else, but not a starship – to be somewhere new – somewhere he didn’t half expect Jim to be with him; though, there would be nowhere that that wasn’t the case. So, his logic said that he might as well stay at home.

Those eyes; Jim’s beautiful eyes; so vital. Literally. How was he going to cope without seeing them until the end of this life? Jim’s smile; Jim’s embrace… His hands, their kisses – All that Spock was going to have to live without; How? Spock didn’t know yet.

Spock sat down heavily on their bed, and reached for the pile of photos on the dresser in front of him. He looked down at Jim’s face, and supressed yet more tears welling in his eyes. He supposed that, somewhere, some way, there was a parallel universe where he had died, and not Jim. Spock wished, fervently, that this universe, this one, that he was in, right now, was that Universe; the one that had allowed him to die. Instead, he was here and Jim was not, and Spock had people telling him that he had to ‘stick around’ -but he missed Jim so much, that even his logic didn’t know how to deal with it.

“I miss you.” He said, as he looked at the photos of Jim, and then, looked around their bedroom. He couldn’t even retreat to their bond; the ‘rooms’ in his soul in which their Bond dwelt; they were so bare – so ghostly – barely tangible anymore – even if the love that built that Bond – which could never be torn down (no matter how much its ‘emptiness’ now hurt Spock, he would never, ever want it to be torn down anyway) – that amazing love, which now haunted his soul, as much as it completed it, was still so real.

__ ___ __

Jim couldn’t stop thinking about Spock’s eyes; dark, beautiful – they were the windows in the rooms of their T’hy’la Bond – the bond Jim and Spock had shared. Did they still? Jim sat on the bed he had shared with Spock for years now, and he felt him all around – but he could not see him; could not hold Spock anywhere but in his heart – and that fact broke his heart. Their bond – it was almost like it was still there, but now, Jim was very nearly in those rooms; those warm, wonderful rooms on his own – and the warmth had bled, almost entirely, from them, too – because his T’hy’la was gone – or was somewhere that Jim could not be.

He looked at the photo of Spock and himself on the wall, and then, looked around the room. “I miss you.” He said, as he looked back to the photo; unable to turn away from it for long; he’d always been unable to turn away from Spock’s eyes for any real length of time – but this was real, now, wasn’t it? He could only look into Spock’s eyes this way now, by staring at a photo. Jim knew that, somewhere out there, there was an Alternate Universe – where he had died, and Spock had lived. He wished that Universe was this one, or that he could go and be with Spock now. He missed him so much.

The End..? 5.7.16


End file.
